


a better experience

by chromatic_indifference



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Ned Leeds is a Good Bro, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Therapy is a good thing, but so is a good friend just to talk things out, but you need to heal, gotta love ned, memories are painful, skip is a dickk, this is also kind of cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-06-04 20:19:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15154883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chromatic_indifference/pseuds/chromatic_indifference
Summary: it has been seven years since skip westcott, and peter still isn't over it. he needs help, and who other than his best friend is there by his side





	a better experience

**Author's Note:**

> woohoo i thought this was a cute idea
> 
> at the beginning, ned is talking about his first kiss with his new girlfriend Betty :))

Ned swiveled around and faced Peter. “So, have you and MJ kissed yet?”  
Peter heart skipped a beat. He ran a hand through his hair and gently pulled at the back to ground his thoughts before taking another breath. “Um. No, no. Not yet.”  
“What do you mean? You guys have been dating for like four months already! That’s more than enough time to kiss her.”  
Peter sat up and faced him. “I know, I know, but…” He took a deep breath and tried to find the right words, “You remember Skip, right?”  
The smile fell from Ned’s face. He swiveled back to face the desk and fidgeted with a pencil. “...Oh. Yeah. God, that was...sometimes I forget it happened.”  
He heard Peter lay back down on the bed and almost missed his next words, they were so soft. “I wish I could forget.” There was another moment of silence, then a rustling as Peter pulled the blankets to his chest. “I just...I can’t get close to her without remembering it. I’ve tried, so many times, to touch her or to kiss her or something, but when I do...I can’t move and my heart starts pounding, and I can’t breathe. I can see I’m annoying her or hurting her or something when I start to back off, but I can’t control it. I just remember the last time he kissed me...It’s too much.” The struggle to speak was almost audible in his voice. He sniffled.  
Ned decided to change the subject before Peter started remembering too much. “Why don’t we do something else.” He opened his laptop. “Betty was telling me about this YouTube guy who combs movies for Easter eggs and stuff. There’s like Star Wars and Lord of the Rings and all that jazz. You wanna check it out?”  
Peter didn’t move.  
“We could work on those electronics people give you to fix. Make some cash. Do you have any more of—”  
“Ned.” He sounded defeated.   
“Yeah?”  
Peter sat up. “I can’t ignore it anymore. I can’t just watch Star Wars and build Lego and whatever and push these memories down even more. It’s getting in the way of my relationships. And the therapist always said that you need to seek help when you get to that point.”  
“You haven’t been to therapy since…”  
“...Yeah. Ben.”   
Ned turned back to him. He knew he had to look him in the eyes, to comfort him through this. Ned has never had to deal with half the shit that Peter has, so he doesn’t quite understand what he needs, but pigs will fly before he stops trying.   
“I need to go back, I know this. But we can’t afford that. And I would talk to May, but she just has so much on her plate right now: I really don’t want to add more to it with my seven year old traumas.”  
“Then ask Mr. Stark. I mean, he’s a billionaire, it’s not like he can’t help pay for therapy.”  
Peter looked at him flabbergasted . “God, do you know how awkward that would be? Trying to ask that? Trying to tell him why? ‘Uh, hey Mr. Stark. I know we never talk about personal things, but hey I was molested as a kid and I want you to pay for therapy’. That—That’s not happening!”  
“Well, you don’t have to tell him why. I mean, you said he gets anxiety attacks sometimes out of the blue from his Iron Man memories. Just say that being Spider-Man has put a toll on you and you’ve seen some bad things that you need to talk about with someone. You don’t have to tell him the truth if it’s too awkward.”  
“I just...don’t want to seem like I’m taking advantage of him.”  
“I sincerely doubt he’d view it like that. You never ask for anything. Ever.”  
Peter didn’t look convinced.   
“You know what. I’ll talk to him for you. So you don’t have to go through that.”  
Peter looked at him astonished. “You’d do that?”  
“Anything for you.”  
“Anything?”  
“Anything.”  
Peter thought for a moment. “Okay...Kiss me.”  
Ned choked. “I’m sorry?”   
He took a deep breath. “Well, my first kiss was a horrible experience. I can’t get close to people without freaking, I can’t kiss my own girlfriend. I think...I think I need a better experience. I need it with someone I trust, someone I love, someone who won’t make me feel like I’m suffocating, you know? I don’t have that with MJ, not yet.” He looked back at Ned, embarrassed. “But I have it with you.”  
Ned’s mouth was agape, and he had to swallow back his surprise before talking. “I mean. I have a girlfriend. And I’m straight. And this is weird.”   
Peter visibly deflated.   
“...But I’ll do it.”  
He perked back up. “Really? I know it’s weird, it might be asking too much. I mean, I don’t like you or anything, I promise. I just think it might help.”  
“I did say I’ll do anything, didn’t I?”  
Peter patted next to him. “Well then, come here.”  
Ned took a deep breath and then sat on the bed.   
“You good?” Peter asked.   
“I should be the one asking that. And yeah, I’m just trying to summon the spirit of gay that resides in the back in my mind.”  
Peter laughed. “That’s perfect! And I’m okay. Just... let me be the one to initiate this.”  
“No problem there.”  
They sat in silence for a minute, neither one of them moving. Ned looked at Peter expectantly. Peter stared at the ground.  
The sound of the front door opening and May calling his name startled Peter. Now or never, he thought. He laid a hand on the back of Ned’s head and brought their lips together.   
It only lasted a second, but to Peter, it was amazing. A smile climbed up to his lips. It was different than any kiss Skip had ever given him. It was Peter’s choice. He wasn’t crying. He wasn’t being touched inappropriately. Ned barely even kissed back.  
May knocked on the door and let herself in. “Oh, hey Ned. I didn’t know you were gonna be here today.”  
Ned’s face flushed blood red and he stood up quickly from the bed. “Uh. Sorry, May. I was just helping Peter with some of his jobs.” He motioned to the pile of electronics on the desk.  
She smiled at him. “Oh, you know I don’t care if you come over. No need to apologize.” She was about to close the door, but thought twice. “Also, I brought home some taco fixings from work today. The nurses were having a surprise party for somebody and they said I could take home what’s left because they knew I had a hungry teenager. It’s on the counter if you guys get hungry.” She stood in the door a little longer, looking at Peter, who was staring at the ground. “Are you okay, honey?”  
Peter looked up at her. “Yeah, May, I’m really good.”


End file.
